When people get married, they believe they have found the life partners. At that time, they only look forward to a long happy life together. However, reality turns out different on most of these couples. Problems arise in marriages and in some cases they have detrimental impacts to the extent that separation is the only way forward. There are many causes of divorce. Divorce also has negative effects on both partners and children if any.
Money is a common cause of divorce because most couples have money related disputes. It could be that one partner does not approve of the spending habits of the other. This ends up in fights and quarrels that lead to divorce. Another cause of divorce is substance and alcohol abuse. When one partner engages in drugs, they strain the relationship. Mostly, where drugs are involved, there are likely to be abusive behavior. This may cause the other partner to back off because they cannot condone the addictive behavior.
Divorce is caused by sexual problems. Sex is an important aspect in marriage. Sexual dissatisfaction and negative attitude towards sex cause tension and suspicion in the marriage. This can also lead to unfaithfulness, which leads to many break ups. If one of the partners is jealous and immature, they may cause the marriage to break because of the bad habits. Some partners are always suspicious of their spouse and keep following and snooping into their activities. This habit leads to mistrust, discomfort and quarrels in the relationship. If such behavior persists, the other partner may opt to quit the relationship to find peace.
Violence in relationships is also a common cause of divorce. Physical abuse and assaults in marriage lead to the lack of affection. Fear and hatred become part of the marriage hence; the marriage breaks up in the end. Divorce can also result from external sources such as in-laws. This is common for newly married couples who still live in their parent’s homes. At times the in-laws meddle too much into the couple’s marital affairs that they become a nuisance and a bother. Some even go as far as demanding for financial help, which causes a strain in the relationship. This may lead to divorce.
Some people set their expectations for the marriage too high that they end up getting frustrated when they do not experience what they expected. When this happens, the couple feels disillusioned and end up divorcing. Lack of, or ineffective communication also causes divorce. No communication means conflicts are not resolved hence; they strain the marriage.
The effects of divorce are felt by both partners and even children. Divorce can result in financial distress for one of the partners. Divorce involves financial settlements where at least one partner has to part with their wealth for the other. The court cases during the divorce cases also cost money. Another effect is that either both or one of the partners may be emotionally or mentally affected by the divorce, causing mental, confidence and trust problems.
Children may be affected mentally and emotionally. The children may feel no love from their parents. Some even blame themselves for their parents’ divorce. Such children may lack confidence, may be aggressive, withdrawn, lonely, distrusting and rebellious. It is important to keep children out of the divorce process to save them this kind of agony.
Therefore, divorce is caused by common issues in many family issues that result in disagreements, fights and abuse. When such incidents persist, one or both partners may find it necessary to part ways. The effects of divorce can be detrimental. The couple and their children have to deal with these effects carefully if they are to get over them and live a normal life thereafter.
Clarke-Stewart, Alison and Cornelia Brentano. Divorce: Causes and Consequences. illustrated, reprint. Baltimore: Yale University Press, 2007.
Wolfinger, Nicholas H. Understanding the Divorce Cycle: The Children of Divorce in their Own Marriages. illustrated. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2005.