Communication is a key element while passing across a message, depending on how you address others and the tone used communicates much more than just words. In day-to-day experience people exchange ideas and messages that are either intended to address an individual or a group of people. On the event of message delivery different communication methods and elements are implemented to put more emphasis on the message. These are communication privileges that draw more attention to what one is addressing though at times they are misused to serve other agendas. The most common ones to suffer such communication injustice include hurtful communication, negative teasing and bullying. Hurtful communication intends to cause emotional distress to an individual. When uses abusive words, such words tend to evoke some negative emotions. Teasing negatively intends to hurt somebody’s emotion but in a mild way. It comes out as a joke but in real sense it is a form of abuse. Bullying intentionally causes bodily harm to an individual.
Conflict is the most discussed topic in a family setting due to struggles faced by the family which are often volatile and troubling. In such a family setting there is a tendency of use of hurtful communication. The family conflict is further motivated by the practical interest in improving family relationships. As a result of conflict resolution there is need of isolating the constructive and problematic aspect of communication. Communication begins to take a different turn when someone attacks the self-concept of another person instead of the person’s position on the topic at hand (Weber, Cupach, & Spitzberg 43)
Carried by emotional pressure to address your argument, it is usually tempting to attack individual intelligence while addressing their ideas. The idea that the argument presented by the other party seems not so intelligent may lead one to question their intellectual level. To appear smarter or to amuse the crowd closely following the conflict, there is tendency of using unorthodox methods to cut off the other party. People will often look at you as being unfair by diverting from the topic of discussion to a point of questioning someone’s intelligence. The move paints you as aggressive and uncivilized for not arguing your point out through facts that support the arguments. Mostly the feeling and perception that is printed into people’s mind will be highly influenced by the level of aggression expressed in your communication (Weber, Cupach, & Spitzberg 32).
Though at times people do not intend to be hurtful while others actually just want to inflict the pain by using the hurtful communication. The intention of using hurtful communication is usually hidden and only known to the individual user, the motive behind it could be as result of retaliation for unsettled scores. To settle some scores that had been recently or previously inflicted by the other party. Hurting communication could also be used as defensive mechanism to stand your ground and support your argument. Hurting comment are used to strike the other team off balance and to lose concentration on the actual discussion (Weber, Cupach, & Spitzberg 53).
Teasing is a strong element that strengthens relationships which expresses how close and affectionate one is with another person. Through the right approach teasing would play an important role in solving conflicts rather through a playful it provides an outlet for expressing frustration or disapproval. To that extent, teasing is considered to be positive since it takes place between two close people who appreciate the teasing and use it jokingly rather than aggressive. Positive teasing leaves the other person being teased all smiles as they relate with the effect being passed to them by the other party leaving them less distressed.
On the other hand, teasing can have a different outcome that might not be so pleasing to the other party. Excessive teasing while using an aggressive tone can alienate, embarrass and criticize the other person which weaken the relationship between the two parties. This can turn hostile with continuous teasing that might led to distress of the other person being teased. Teasing that focuses on personal appearance is the most hurtful and hostile, this is because attacking on someone appearance has so much to do with the influence on social acceptance which is out of individual’s control. In a teasing context there is always imbalance of power where the person has more influence among the peers compared to other party. This is considered to be bullying as it’s meant to hurt or upset the person being teased (Weber, Cupach, & Spitzberg 47). All the above hurtful communication, bullying and negative teasing have led to social withdrawal symptoms due to retaliation, poor relationships, depression, poor academic performance. Generally, these communication skills have hurtful effects to the person they are directed towards both emotionally and psychologically.
Weber, Ann L., W. R. Cupach, and B. H. Spitzberg. "The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication." Use of Hurtful Communication against Others 44.1 (2008): 120. Print.