Every day women face with some type of violence. Even though we live in a democratic society and the public seem to see women as equal members of the society in many parts of the world this is not the case. The most obvious form of violence is physical and sexual assault. However, in many cases psychological violence that is based on threats and intimidation has a more lasting effect, and others can not notice evidences of this type of violence in women. In the paper issues that are not healthy for a stable relationships will be discusses.
In the Power and Control Wheel patterns that dominate in relationships can be distinguished. Even though in this wheel psychical violence in not presented, it can be noticed that man try to control and dominate women in every sphere of her life, make her completely dependant and destroying her self-confidence and her self-esteem. According to the Power and Control Wheel these relationships are mainly based on the male privilege, coercion and threats, intimidation, emotional abuse, isolation, economic abuse, denying and blaming and using children. It can be noticed that these features do not include psychical violence, but effects are much more serious in the life of every woman who lives in this type of relationship. Cycle of Violence is a cycle that also describes a spelled cycle that exists in relationship based on the male dominance and way that this many finds to repeat over and over again the cycle, but each time cycle is completed faster than the previous time. Three phases that dominate in the Cycle of Violence are honeymoon, tension and violence. Every of these phases includes some characteristic behavior. This is all opposite form the peer marriage which is based on equality, tolerance, shared responsibility and mutual respect. According to Schwartz (1994), “peer marriage is the nature of human relationships that each commitment requires some modifications of totally unfettered individual self-interest (p. 1)”. These traits can hardly be seen in relationships that feature some of the phases that are stated in the Cycle of Violence and The Power and Control Wheel.
According to these data, men who try to dominate and use sexual, emotional and physical violence are usually men who have some unsolved issues. Most of marriages and women who suffer some kind of violence are of lower level of education and hence they are forced to depend of their spouses. Tough material situation, inconsistent influx of money usually lead to some type of violence and the last one in this chain is the woman. Men, who work part-time jobs, who had never got a chance for a better education, who suffer from drug or alcohol abuse usually may recognize some of their features in the traits of man who are violent. Due to the destroyed self-esteem and confidence woman are convinced that they will not maintain on their own, or if they have asked for police protection and failed usually make peace that it is their destiny and that there in no way out.
In many parts of the world woman are faced with domestic violence. One of the types of domestic violence is sexual abuse that very often occurs in marriages and what is even worse the violent men abuse children and even babies. A short documentary that was published about the spread of violence in the Haiti after the terrible earthquake presents some of the forms of sexual violence described in the Wheel of Power and Control. After the earthquake that occurred in January, 2010, 1.5 million people were left homeless without elementary things that are necessary for life. People were living and still do in improvised camps, without job or any kind of support. Under these circumstances, women and children are left on their own. The testimony of a young 13 year old girl who and of a woman whose boyfriend raped her baby leads everyone speechless with a soul full of sorrow and empathy for the victims of violence. Poorly developed system for protection of abused women and children leads to the increased level of sexual offences. Men took advantage of this. Once again, bad material position, declined protection system had a big influence in Haiti.
Society, in general, has to stand in the defense on women and their rights for a better life, free of domestic abuse. Even though there are many services that help women who are victims of violence in the USA, many women are uninformed about them. Victims of domestic violence rarely go out of their homes or have friends whit whom they could share their secrets. They live in the fear of anything and from everything. That is why it is important to inform them about services that could provide them with shelter and protection. The best possible way to do this is through internet. There are many services in my community that also have online supports and in this way women can search for and communicate with people who are experts in the domain of domestic violence. One of the examples is WAWOR (Violence Against Women Online Resources) organization which provides women with all necessary informations. According to them “National Violence Against Women Survey (NVAWS) stated that about 1.5 million women are raped and/or physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually (Tjaden & Thoennes, 2000).”There are also many services that provide round clock free service for women who have been abused in their homes. On of the ways to find out more about domestic violence victim services is to visit their web sites and see what services are the close to the place of residence.
When discussing about domestic violence and violence within a relationship one can not remain calm. Development and acquaintance of our society plays an important role in the decreasing of the violence. If the society, also with women and children, is informed and educated about the patterns that lead to violence and supported by the society then, a small step can be made. On the other hand, traditionally view on marriage, relationships without love and respect lead irreversibly to some form of violence. People should be generally informed and introduced in the ways that feature a healthy relationship that is filled with tolerance.
Schwartz, P. (1994). Modernizing marriage. Psychology today. Retrieved from:http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199409/modernizing-marriage
Dhaliwal, D. (21st Century ). (2010, October, 1). Violence against Women and Girls in Haiti: The Enemy Within. Retrieved from: http://youtu.be/G4cEVdLXy8Q
Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse. (2012). The Facts about domestic violence. Retrieved from: http://www.vaw.umn.edu/documents/inbriefs/domesticviolence/domesticviolence.html