As human beings, it is only possible that every individual coexists in groups in order to make life easier. The group that individuals coexist under is defined as a society. There are no cases that individuals have lived alone and thus; relationships are created in the event of making friendship and communicating effectively. For every relationship that is established, there is bound to be the outcome and spectacular taste that can emerge from a relationship that has been established. In most circumstances, relationships fail due to conflicts that come up during a co -existence. The main reason that results to failure of friendships can be linked to personal traits that an individual may be possessing. It is widely known that, the ties that are imposed to us like family demands of a certain type of friends, wives and husbands and other significant individuals that make the society. Therefore, this paper indicates the various personalities through methods that are essential for analysis of personality; more so, it will give the modality to be used when choosing and connecting sides from both personalities.
In my life as I have grown up, there are numerous experiences that I have encountered during my relationships interactions with varied individuals from varied background. Through this, I have learnt many things from the experiences that I have gone through and also the mistakes that I have committed during my relationships.
I have also lost and gained friends that were the important part of my life in my experiences. For some of the lost friendships, I assume that it was mainly a fault that the friendships had to come to an end while, for some instances, it was the other people I interacted with that brought out the conflict. The result of the friendship lost and conflicts have resulted into mental pains, and this has always been a very traumatizing episode in my life.
It is through this experience that, I have realized that it is essential to be selective and have knowledge when looking for friends or the other significant individuals as part of my life. At a point, I had a friend that was very friendly. She was always correcting errors, ensuring that she has done what ought to be done and always getting things in the right way.
I assumed that this was the best friend that any individual could come across. Our friendship grew to be known widely, but I could not take it at some point. This is because, for her, she was always correcting, and I felt like she was controlling my life. She could correct almost everything that I deed and believed that her way of handling things was the best (Vollrath 196).
Our friendship did not last for long. This was mainly from the experience that we had at some point whereby, I decided to put her toothbrush in a different position when I had visited their place for one week. This became an issue, and she ended up not talking to me until I had to leave their home and consider going back home despite the fact that, my visit had not come to an end. Therefore, I established that Mary had a perfectionist’s personality.
This is based on the fact that, she always ensured that the right is always getting into the place of the right thing to be done. We could not agree under so many circumstances and thus, conflicts could be seen in our friendship for a long time. In this case, I believe that I was not in the wrong position and thus learnt that friendships should always be evaluated, and it is essential to know what a friend may be capable of doing in case of conflicts.
I was not a perfectionist in this case, and it is for this reason that we always had conflicts over issues that I could have avoided in the first instance. For a society, individuals need each other in order to survive, and my situation and Mary was not any different. I needed to understand her way of doing things to be perfect and she also ought to have understood the notion that, I was not a perfectionist and; therefore, things like placing the tooth brush in the right direction was not a key issue of concern to my conscience (Vollrath 196).
Personalities are different, and the society consists of various personalities, and this is the reason as a society that is well structured, we should know how to evaluate friends and how much compatible we can be(Vollrath 197). If I knew our compatibility nature was not high, I would have avoided making an enemy and instead made friends by using the right approach in establishing our friendship. The basis of any societal friendship has always experienced such challenges due to inadequate knowledge of the individuals that we are dealing with and their preferences.
I believe that good relations are maintained through proper understanding of each other. There are various ways that individuals can communicate in order to maintain a good relationship mode in society. Establishing the cause of some conflicts should be used in order to avoid future similar conflicts that are bound to happen in a given society. Relationships should be based on understanding of each other’s value and priorities in life (Vollrath 197).
At some point, there is existed a conflict between a close friend and me over the procedure and performing status that the project we were working on should have reached. I believed that the success was the main reason as to why we were carrying out the project together. I believed that for anything done be it work or activities not related to work should be geared towards success (Vollrath 198). Therefore, as I result, I felt like my partner in the project was not aiming towards achieving success but only could come up with new ideas now and then. We ended up disagreeing on several factors that reduce the rate at which we would obtain success for the final project as was intended.
I believed that it was a colleague that was not giving the right attention to ensure that the project was successful, and this is the reason we ended up failing to complete the project. I was so worked up and even decided not to continue working under any circumstance that we were to be put in groups to carry out an activity.
In this case, I think I was the problem, and I possessed the personality of a performer and could not take any form of failure from any individual. In this circumstance, I should have controlled my performer personality and engaged my friend in ensuring that there was some form of understanding between us. My colleague could not understand where all these conflicts were coming from, but it was due to my over ambitiousness and the urge to perform that overlooked the other important areas of our relationship.
There are also instances that relationships that I have had have not been successful due to misunderstanding of a personality that cannot be changed. While working in a group, there was this particular friend who could not stand the act of any individual doing the wrong thing. He was always looking for mistakes in order to correct mistakes that the group members could be part of. Therefore, all he did was observe and correct individuals on the issues that went wrong. We even had a conflicting interest of understanding when I gave an opinion on my best way of drafting the meetings and planning the scheduled visits during our visits to the required station in the public health department.
All he could do was to observe to show that you were wrong. I ended up leaving the group since there was too much pressure emerging from this particular group member. If I only understood the fact that he had an observer’s personality, I could have avoided any conflicting ideas that could have broken the friendship (Fingerman et al. 300). May I could have not even joined the group he was part of so that I avoid any form of misunderstandings that may have come up during our interactions.
It is thus essential to establish the manner in which we may want to establish our relationships. For some individuals, the family factor plays a major role in developing their personalities. This is because; there are some things that may be allowed in a certain family, but perceived to be a moral or ethical issue in other families.
For example, being a perfectionist may be a normal thing for one family while, for another family, the main virtue of personality that is essential is the performer. For such families, when they interact in the society, conflicts may emerge on the priorities that they have in life. For example, I was brought up knowing that an individual has to be a performer, and this has caused me to lose so many of the relationships that I had with the rest of the individuals in the area of residence (Fingerman et al. 297).
In order to be able to choose the best side of personality, it is essential to consider the various personalities that exist in a society so that we are able to deal with every situation that comes our way. Since the society has to learn various ways on how to accept and cope with issues that may be surrounding the environment. It is thus essential to learn that there are varied reasons that can make an individual’s behave in a certain way which may not be acceptable and thus, all we need to learn is to ensure that we can accommodate and learn what we cannot deal or accept so that; we avoid failed relationships in the future (Fingerman et al. 297).
It is vital to know the various types of personalities in order for us to coexist in the society. More so, we should also learn to be accommodative in nature through understanding various forms of personality and how to deal with them. This way, the relationships that we have will exist instead of failing in the future.
Fingerman, Karen L, Karen L. Fingerman, Frieder R. Lang, and Frieder R. Lang. Growing Together: Personal Relationships Across the Life Span. Cambridge [u.a.: Cambridge Univ. Press, 2004. Print.
Vollrath, Margarete E. Handbook of Personality and Health. Chichester, England: John Wiley & Sons, 2006. Internet resource.