For the purposes of the current work I surveyed my husband Ray and my daughter-in-law Amy.
According to survey, my perception of myself did not differ much from the description given by the members of my family. I try to live in harmony with my surroundings and this is a reason why major of my characteristics matched the ones given by my family.
A discover of a great value for me was that I have to perform better control over my emotions because I sometimes tend to be too emotional and hurt my people. I underestimated my perceived emotional control in compliance with my family estimation. I also realized that my occasional fits of anger may sometimes deeply impress ones to whom they are addressed and negatively influence further communication even if I forget about the incident. Deep analysis of my behavior showed that the reason of such a behavior was my perfectionism. I usually set high standards for me and for my surroundings thinking that it is normal. After making an analysis I understood that sometimes people took my attempts to improve something as nagging. I think that the concept of perceived self is applicable in this situation because my perceived self contradicted my social image (Adler & Proctor II, 2011, p.64).
I also got to know that my previous working experience as office manager and business owner was of great help for my communication skills. I concluded that interaction with many people impacted my ability to communicate which is not an inherent ability. Due to the ability to interact many people at work I learned to work out my own “repertoire of behaviors” and choose the way I behave in a concrete situation. It raised my self-esteem to a considerable degree. I think that self-esteem concept relates this part of the paper (Adler & Proctor II, 2011, p.41). I realized that sometimes my confidence helped me in different situations at work and was a turning point of honoring me the First Lady of the City in 1987 and choosing me a member of the Chamber of Commerce.
One of the most pleasant surprising moments was my husband estimation of me as a good wife. I estimated myself as a dedicated wife and Ray confirmed this assertion. I have always believed in commitment and significantly contributed in our relationships development. I am really glad that my husband appreciated my attempts; moreover, I did not expect such estimation. Relational commitment concept can be applied to this paragraph of the paper (Adler & Proctor II, 2011, p.290).
Regarding my willingness to advise, I realized that sometimes I give advices which other person does not need. My daughter-in-law helped me to understand it. I considered myself a person of ready sympathy and I was always ready to help someone. The grid showed that I should pay more attention to the situations when my advices are not needed because sometimes other people perceive my willingness to help as an attempt to intervene their private life. An analysis of an advising concept appeared a turning point in my estimation (Adler & Proctor II, 2011, p.258).
I was really impressed that Amy appreciates my support in different situations. She estimated me as a supportive person and our rankings coincided. A concept of supporting was used here to analyze the situation (Adler & Proctor II, 2011, p.284).
As to a questioning concept, it was very interesting for me to know that it is “the most popular piece of language” (Adler & Proctor II, 2011, p.249). My finding as to questioning other people was as follows: it is important not to be too curious when asking questions. I recalled several situations when it was difficult for me to stay in boundaries of tactfulness. I estimated myself as a tactful person and my respondents agreed on the point.
Another great observation relates nonverbal communication. I have found that indeed people exchange a significant amount of nonverbal information in everyday life (Adler & Proctor II, 2011, p.222). My observations revealed that touching my husband’s hand may calm me down when being nervous while I try to keep distance from unfamiliar people, for example, patients (Adler & Proctor II, 2011, p.227). This was a surprising finding since I did not know much about haptics and intimate distance before.
Privacy management concept seems to be the most important in one’s married life. There are many situations when I encountered a dilemma whether to share my problem with my husband or not. For example, when I made decisions concerning my professional activity. (Adler & Proctor II, 2011, p.317).
This assignment appeared to be a wonderful journey across my personality and this assignment helped me to critically evaluate it, reveal the treats of my character which can be improved and make my communication with other people more effective. Besides, I got to know that there are no measures for improving one’s personality and I will aim to work on its improvement further.
Ronald, B. Adler, and Russell, F. Proctor II. Looking Out Looking In. Wadsworth: Cengage Learning, 2011.