Research suggests that men prefer women who are hard to get for other men, but easy to attain for that particular man who is doing the pursuing. This is a critical piece of information for women in the dating world. Based on the results of such studies, there are three basic pieces of advice to help a woman increase her likelihood of successfully obtaining a man. The first piece of advice is to show interest to the man which you want to date. Be attentive when you are together and make him the center of your attention. Don’t play hard to get with this man! Return his calls, make plans with him, and don’t talk about other men when you’re with him. With that being said, the second piece of advice is that you don’t want to throw yourself at him. Maintain a level of self confidence and dignity. Remember that your whole existence does not rest on whether or not this man likes you. Be your own person, strong, and confident, because men are attracted to women who can hold their own. You have to find a happy medium between hard to get and desperate! The third and final piece of advice is to ignore other men when you are with your man. Don’t mention other men, don’t brag about other men, and especially do not flirt with other men! Your man does not think that it is attractive to see you throwing yourself at other men. He wants you all to himself, so be sure to play hard to get with other men around you.
This advice is supported by the research found within the article “Playing hard to get: Understanding an elusive phenomenon”. Through the research presented in this article, it is made clear that men are attracted to women who is easy for them to get, but hard for other men to get. This study provides great insight for potential daters to understand how their behavior affects their level of desire for men. This study found this out by testing the age old idea that men are attracted to women who play hard to get, but found that this was only partly true. They completed five experiments where they asked college age men to identify what made a woman attractive and desirable to them. Because this article was done using men to identify the desirable qualities in women, it is difficult to say if these results would also pertain to women’s attitude towards men. Another study would need to be done to determine this.
Prior to reading the article Guns, testosterone, and aggression: An experimental test of a meditational hypothesis, I believed that aggression was primary a predisposed characteristic and was found within a person due to their genetic makeup. After reading the article, I now still believe that this is true, but also believe that there are social and environmental aspects that make a person act aggressive as well. These can be temporary, such as holding a gun, or more long-term, such as being raised in an abusive environment. In order to avoid acting aggressively, men should limit their social and personal interaction with things that can increase their testosterone, and therefore aggression.
Aronson, E., Wilson, T., & Akert, R. (2007). Social psychology. (6th ed.), Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Prentice Hall. ISBN: 0-13-238245-8. provide at least three distinct pieces of advice on how to attract a potential mate.
Klinesmith, J., Kasser, T., & McAndrew, F. T (2006). Guns, testosterone, and aggression: An experimental test of a meditational hypothesis. Psychological Science, 17, 568-571.
Walster, E., Walster, G. W., Piliavin, J., & Schmidt, L. (1973). "Playing hard to get:" Understanding an elusive phenomenon. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 26, 113-121.