(Name of student)
(Subject Code and Title)
The therapist’s response to Anna
Anna you have been having some issues lately regarding having a boyfriend and your mother is concerned that you are not ready for a relationship with an older boy. He is pressuring you into having sex with him but you are not ready to make such a commitment. At this point you may think that what you are feeling for your boyfriend is love, but true love is when your partner can understand what you are going through and help you to go through it rather than force you to make a decision now.
Maybe you are feeling that if you give nothing in the relationship it will not last. Maybe right now you are thinking less about yourself and more about your partner and pleasing him, but if he is really thinking about you and feel love for you he would be patient and try to work this through with you. At this stage you are not too young to love, but at this stage these feelings only point to infatuation. At this point most adolescents are unable to handle what they are feeling. They have sex in order to make sure their boyfriend like them, or they give in to peer- pressure, or they do it just to get back at parents for their disapproval of their relationship.
At this point I must tell you that your mother is very concerned about whether you can really handle a relationship, or if you are mature enough to make the right choices. Your mother has been through the similar situation when she was your age and she is aware of the possible consequences. We all as adults go through the same bodily changes as our children and we know that oftentimes the decisions made are not to our advantage. Many studies have been done to prove this. Many girls who get caught in these situations do so only to feel love or just to please the other partner. I know you are going through immense pressure right now from both sides. If you were in your boyfriend’s place would you pressure him to have sex with you knowing that your parents do not want you to have a relationship? If he loves you he would be more understanding and wait. I think you are in love and you are the only one loving at this time. Your boyfriend does not care deeply for you. His selfishness is too evident.
The Therapist’s response to Tom and Susan
Sex in old age can be complicated. You have to understand and cope with some of the issues like lack of desire, low energy and embarrassing bodily functions that may occur at times. As you age you generally experience changes in sexual desire, so understanding what causes some of these normal changes may help you to maintain your sex life. Even if your partner is willing and able you may find that it takes longer to become aroused, you do not have much stamina or you need more time to reach that level of satisfaction that you had when you were younger. We all know that reproduction ceases at a certain age but the feeling for sex continues well into the later years. Sex can happen at any age and for both male and female. Both male and female libidos tend to decline with increasing age and women tend to lose their libido faster than men. However, this is not to say the desire for sex is lost completely or even that it decreases for everyone. You can both discuss this and try to make the necessary changes so that either of you will not become dissatisfied.
It has been suggested that an active sex life can increase longevity amongst the elderly. The advantages of maintaining a healthy sex life among the elderly is being encouraged. There are many benefits in maintaining a healthy sexual activity. Sex burns fat and causes the brain to release endorphins, a natural chemical that act as pain-killers and reduce anxiety. Sex also seems to encourage the release of substances that bolster the immune system. The physical exertion associated with sex is about the same as walking up two flights of stairs. If your heart is up to that much exercise, it's probably up to sex.
At you age you will experience many physical changes, such as taking longer to achieve an erection or needing more stimulation for erection, but understanding that nothing is wrong with you will help you. Your partner understands and is willing to work with you to overcome your fears and your doubts. Older people have a difficult task in coming to terms with the decline in their physical performance and adopt a negative attitude towards their sexuality. Some also feel that it is shameful and not proper to feel and think about sex. I want you to embrace the feeling of having a partner who is willing to work with you in regaining a healthy sex life.
The Therapist session with Bill
All disabled persons have rights and they have needs too. They want the same degree of fulfilment in their relationships and sexuality as anyone else. People with disabilities are denied their sexuality because people do not understand them. We all are human and have the same needs. You are in a situation that is causing you to develop a low self -concept but you must realize that disabilities do not make people less sexually desirable. If your girlfriend did not love you and find you attractive and desirable she would not want to be with you. I sense that you have the desire to want to love and be loved. You have a very productive relationship but the one thing lacking is the knowledge of how to cope with your limitations.
Approaches to sex which promote any activity which both partners find pleasurable, comfortable and safe would benefit many people with disabilities. I will encourage a communicative approach between you and your partner, as an ability to express one's sexual needs and pleasures is an essential aspect of healthy sexual relationships. Disability can cause great strain on relationships. Sometimes the able-bodied partner may not be interested in developing intimate relationships and this may reduce your sexual value and make you think less of yourself. You may also feel that you are not attractive or you do not worth anything because you are sitting in a wheel chair. You may also feel that persons are going to take advantage of you because you cannot help yourself.
I recommend that you take your girlfriend to the next session so any concerns and issues can be discussed. In the meantime I recommend reading some useful material on how to satisfy your partner both sexually and otherwise. Take the first couple of weeks to know her, know what she wants and just get comfortable into giving her what she needs. You must also be aware of your limitations and how much you can do. Without support and counseling the situation might cause enormous strain on your relationship so make sure that you get all the help you and your girlfriend need.
Rathus, S.A., Nevid, J.-R. (2005). Human Sexuality in a World of Diversity. (6th ed.). Axia College's Writing Style Handbook. Boston: Allyn and Bacon.
Walker, B. L. (n.d.). Sexuality and The Elderly: A Research Guide. Annotated ed. . Westport, CT. : Greenwood Press.