The Facilitator’s report provides an overview of the strengths and weaknesses of Crystal and Chris. The couple have varying strengths and weaknesses, and each play a key role in shaping their conflicts. The facilitator focused on different aspects of the relationship, and it is clear from his or her finding that the couple have some similarities in how they view their relationship as well as differences. The couple’s background also plays a key role in shaping some of their strengths and weaknesses as a couple. Different backgrounds expose couples to different parenting and coping skills. This may go a long way in explaining the differences and similarities between the couple. This also shapes the view of the couple to different things, and their expectations in the relationship. Personalities play a vital role in how people view life, and what they expect from their partners. In this case, the difference in personalities contributes differently to the relationship. By understanding the key strengths and weaknesses of the couple together with their different personalities, one can come up with the perfect action plan to help the couple make their relationship better than it is currently.
Identify Key Areas (strengths and weaknesses)
The couple in this case study have different strengths and weaknesses, and this shapes the nature of their relationship. As one goes through the Facilitator’s report, one sees that the couple have varied views on different aspects of the relationship. It is seldom to find both of them scoring the same marks on one point (Jordan 134).
The couple has issues with forgiveness. This is a serious issue considering that the couple live together, and they are bound to hurt each other’s feelings. Forgiveness, therefore, provides a good opportunity for the couple to forgive each other, and move on with their lives. In this case, the couple show that they are not so good at forgiving each other. This is risky for the relationship as they may hold grudges that are not healthy for their relationship. Forgiveness is crucial for the couple to forget about the hurts and disappointments they have gone through in their relationship. The lack of forgiveness between the couple means that they keep all their hurts and disappointments bottled up.
The other key problem in the relationship is in how the couple handles duties and responsibilities assigned to each of them. There is a weakness in how the couple address different responsibilities in the relationship. The way they share different roles and responsibilities around the house seems to be one place where there is an issue. The other issue is the issue of who has a say in the decision making process. The couples do not agree on who has the power to make serous decisions around the family. Sharing of roles in the house is also an important weakness in the couple’s relationship. There is a huge difference in how the couple view the way they share responsibilities. This may strain the relationship, as one may feel overburdened or overcharged with some responsibilities. It may also mean that one feels threatened when one partner makes crucial decisions regarding the family without proper consultations (Long and Young 90)
The other problem that arises in the Facilitator’s report is in how the couple feels about leisure activities. The couple have different social scores. This means that theway they want to spend their leisure time differ. This is crucial for the survival of their relationship. This can cause many problems for the couples as they may end up avoiding each other due to the difference in the choice of leisure activities and who they want to spend their leisure time with. The two have different interests especially with how they want to spend their time. This may lead to cases of neglect or boredom when one partner has to spend time with the other one, yet they are not actually enjoying themselves.
The couple’s backgrounds contribute a lot to their current view of things. Olympia grew up in a family where her parents divorced, and a single parent raised her. This explains her issue with social gatherings. On the other hand, Chris grew up in a closely-knit family where they were used to people being there for them. This contributes to the couple’s weakness in communication and conflict resolution abilities. Olympia grew up facing challenges, as she did not have a large family to be by her side. This may explain why she is assertive and expresses her view.
There ismuch strength in this relationship that gives it all the good attributes seen in the facilitator’s report. One of the strengths is in their sexual relationship. The couple has a great sexual relationship, and no one is complaining about sexual dissatisfaction. This is a good thing for the couple as most marriages fail due to sexual dissatisfaction that may in some cases lead to a partner cheating on their spouse. Sexual affection is good in this case, hence the good sexual assessment.
The other strength is in their financial management. The couple have a realistic view on how they spend their money. This is a good thing as couples who agree on how they spend their finances have less problems as compared to those who feels that they are mismanaging their finances.
Different personalities play different roles in shaping the conflicts in relationship. The5 dimensions used in the assessment of personality with the SCOPE personality model provide an insight on how the difference in personalities shapes conflicts, and possible remedies to these conflicts. The five personality traits studies used in the SCOPE model provides all the relevant personality traits that are most dominant in an individual. The five factors considered in the SCOPE model include social or extraversion, change also called one’s openness, Organized or conscientiousness, Pleasing or otherwise called agreeableness and last but not least in the SCOPE scale is Emotional Stability or neuroticism. These are five factors that explain the behaviours of human beings. However, it is crucial to note that they do necessarily portray the true picture of an individual (Everett andLee 86).
Social or extraversion
This varies with an individual, but it mostly addresses different characteristics like excitability, assertiveness, one’s ability to socialize and their ability to express their emotions. In this case, Chris scored high in the social dimension, and this means that he is outgoing and can easily draw attention to them. This shows that he is enthusiastic and wills to take action-oriented moves. In most cases, those who score high in social scales, tend to be seen as attention seekers or shallow. In groups, they take the centre attention as they contribute to topics, and are willing hot meet new people. On the other hand, those who score low, and in this case Olympia, are introverts. In this scale, people who score low are not outgoing, and prefer solitude over other people’s company. In off balance situation people in this category will seem cut off from the rest of the group. In this case study, the couple scoredifferentlyon the social category. This can create conflict especially when not comes to attending social gatherings. One will feel free to go out and spend more time with friends than the other partner. This causes the issue of one partner feeling left out or neglected when the other goes out with friends. Chris says at one point that he does not spend enough time with friends. This comes from the difference in their scores on social scale the couple need to ask the other partner whether they want to go with them to a social gathering before accepting or rejecting an offer (Tillotson78).
This refers to one’s ability to embrace change, their flexibility and new experiences. The score determines one’s ability to be imaginative and creative as opposed to those who are realistic and conventional. In the Facilitator’s report, both Chris and Olympia score high in the Change aspect. This means that the couple are open to change, and can always find a solution to problems facing them. This may be a problem to the couple, and can cause conflicts if they create too much change in their relationship. The other conflict that can arise is the amount of change each couple is comfortable embracing. However, this is a good thing in solving issues in the relationship. With their high score on change, the couple can face issues, and even come up with new ideas to solve issues.
This deals with how organized an individual in on different aspects of their lives. In this case, both of them scored high in this aspect of their personality. The two are methodological and organize their stuff well. They focus on one goal, and create a well laid out plan on different issues to do before they can achieve this goal. This is a good soccer for both partners. This is more so because, as a couple, they can do a lot to achieve their long term goals. They pay attention to detail. However, this can result in conflicts as they can be domineering and controlling when there is change of plan. They may feel threatened when there is a change of plan, which may result in conflict (Ward 45).
This is concerned with a person’s compassion, their trust, affection and their level of kindness. Chris scored high in this personality scale. He values being outgoing, and see friendship and consideration as important attributes. He may be forced to sacrifice his feelings and opinions in an effort to please others. On the other hand, Olympia scored average, and this means that she can be assertive when her rights are violated. This may cause conflicts in the way people express their negative and positive feelings. This can cause so many problems to the couple. However, it can help the couple resolve their conflicts as they can communicate openly with each other.
Emotional Stabilityor neuroticism
This is the ability of an individual to stay relaxed when they are under stress and pressure. Chris scored high in this aspect of personality scale. This means that he is emotionally stable no matter what is going on in life. He views everything as a passing cloud that will be over soon. On the other hand, Olympia scored average, meaning that she is clam in general, but when faced with highly stressful situations, she can develop negative feelings. The difference in scores can create conflict between the two as one partner may feel that the other is insensitive for not reacting to stressful situations. It can also make one feel that the other partner is nagging. This can help the couple resolve conflicts by coming up with effective communication skills to help them solve issues.
The couple have their strengths and weaknesses, and there are different things that can be done to help them improve their relationship. It is vital to come with a relevant strategy to help the couple go through their issues. This entails two sessions per week where each session addresses different issues in the relationship. The key thing in achieving this is by creating an open communication channel between the couple. This is the first thing that needs to be addressed before anything else (Villanueva 78).
The couples lack proper communication skills, which may be the reason for differences in their view of certain aspects of the relationship. The need to develop good communication skills is paramount for the couples. It is therefore, vital to have the couple address issues based on their disagreements and indecisions. To do this, it is necessary to help the couple develop new communication skills. This is possible when the couples identify the key areas where they feel their partner is not being realistic or is acting against their wishes. The two need to learn to listed to the other person, and be assertive when they are discussing serious issues concerning their relationship and the family. To address this the couple are to write down different aspect that they feel their partner fails to address, then come up with the possible solutions that work best for them. The next thing will be to expose them to different situations that require them to communicate openly. This can be done by engaging them in a blind sport where they have to trust each other and communicate openly in order to finish the sport safely. This will increase their communication skills (Burns 82).
The other key thing to address in this case is to help the couple come up with a good plan on how to spend their leisure time. The couple have issues with how they spend their leisure time and the activities they perform during this time. The differences in their social scores may explain why the couple feel differently about how they spend their leisure time and activities performed. The local area has different activities and resources that can be used by the couple to find interesting ways to spend their time together.
The couple have issues with how they share roles and responsibilities. The main concerns that come out are in the way decisions are made in the family. The person having power over the decision-making role also provides a key problem. Chris says that he is a Christian and Olympia does not provide an answer to this question. This may provide a difference in how they view how decisions should be made in the family. The head of the house according to the bible is the man. The woman is the supporter, and in most cases follows what the man says. The couples need to communicate openly about their feelings on their different roles and responsibilities around their home. The couple learning to share duties equally will solve this. To achieve this, the couple will have to do different duties around the house on different days and then report how they feel about doing something the other partner normally works on.
The couple have different issues ranging from their communication, conflict resolution, sharing of roles and responsibilities, leisure activities and forgiveness. However, the couple have various strengths that help them make their relationship strong. This is evident in the couple’s responses to different issues in their relationship. The difference in their personalities plays a crucial role in shaping their conflicts and helping resolve these issues. The couple have a chance to make their relationship better than it is currently. By utilizing their strengths, and using the strategies provided, the couple have a chance of making the relationship strong and eliminating the challenges facing them. The two have chance to change how they face different issues. The key focus on the action plan is to open up a good communication channel, where both partners are open to tell each other how they truly feel without the fear of hurting each other’s feelings (Buss 123).
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