"Like Father, Like Son"
I have always thought of why my friends, teachers and acquaintances associated me with politics. However, I never got an answer. Could be this assignment will help me to realize whether the people that I have always interacted with are right or wrong. It was not very hard for me to choose among the many experiences that I had in my elementary to have a topic that I can discuss in this assignment. In this assignment, I decided to talk about how my father behavior affected my development as a child, although I cannot certainly say that his behavior contributed to my learning how to argue my points not only in normal argument but also in class work.
I thought of my father who was an advocate. My father used to carry me with him in his small Volkswagen whenever I was not in school. I could hear him say "like father, like son." I also used to tell my friends the same thing ignorantly whenever we were playing. My father introduced me to making arguments since my childhood. I remember both of us making jokes in his car as he drove fast and one would think that two adults were in argument. We could drove from home to the small town neighborhood arguing over a small issue as if it was big enough to warrant discussion in congress.
During the dinner or we are both relaxing at home and I did not have homework, my father would always provide a simple homework of arguing over a point. My mother could sit opposite the table to listen to the two "advocates." Today, I always find myself arguing with a point alone trying to look at the point from different perspectives and thoughts. According to Dunst, Bruder, Trivette & Hamby, 2006, families can engage young children in learning activities and this is possible to develop lifelong motivation persistence as well as motivation to the child to love learning.
My father used to invite us together with my two close friends near his porch and he could present a question to us. I always envy the way he used to ask us a question that could easily develop into a hot argument. He was gifted at setting those questions. I remember one day when we were three of us he asked whether one should be jailed for trying to kill themselves. My dad maintained they should be jailed because that is trying to take life while my friend and I maintained that they should not because it was their own lives. "It my life and I can do what I want with it," I could say. "It freely given and if I feel that I do not need it I can do as I wish," my friend could say.
My father could come up with any argument and did not limit himself to normal life arguments but he could even think of animals. The only thing that was unique to his questions was that the question could erupt into a big discussion such that sometimes it could pull my rather less interested mother into discussing the topic. My father’s behavior is supported further by Dunst, Bruder, Trivette & Hamby argument that the daily interactions between children and their parents contributes to the children’s emotional, physical as well as the intellectual development.
Moreover, as children prepares to go to school, their parents contributes to successful transitions by the act of engaging their children in literacy discussions such as sharing conversations about various topics which are educational in nature including general topics. My father’s behavior was significant in my childhood development for various reasons. Cook, Roggman, & Boyce, 2011, argued that fathers and mothers in conjunction with their children play a big role in predicting their children’s reading abilities as well as the 5th grade math.
I find this true because, as I had mentioned earlier because of being taught by my father to argue from different perspectives and thoughts, I cannot say that I am poor in mathematics. Every time I get a mathematical problem, I spend my time to argue from a wide range of perspectives with an aim of coming up with the most reasonable reasoning. Berk further supports this in the statement that when the child is in their middle childhood, their attention is very selective; the child becomes more adaptable as well as planful. Berk continues to assert that as the child grows older they tend to fix their attention to the requirements of the task allocated.
According to Cook, Roggman, & Boyce interactions of parent to children is affected by the child qualities as well as their (children) temperament.
For instance, it is difficult for an extroverted father or mother to understand their shy child. In addition, active children can exhaust their exhausted parents especially those who may be stressed. Such traits exhibited by the children, along with the children reaction to specific parent’s behavior such as my father’s, can affect the relationship between the child and the parent. The experience of arguing with my father over many things and over a long time is a lesson to me. I could remember with time, I developed a habit of listening to my father’s question before I could respond unlike before. My primary objective was to avoid failing to answer the question correctly although I could not have irritated my loving father even if I got the answer wrong.
Despite answering the questions correctly, my father still had to look for means of bringing in a debate. According to Barnes et al 2006, parent is like a model to the children. If children hold their parents with high esteem while their parents are their main source of reinforcement, the parents become their child models. When the parent follow negative attitudes, then the child will have the negative attitudes towards such issues. Barnes et al asserts that parents should not allow defiant behavior to appear in their children. Parents can do this by consistent monitoring.
My argument with my father illustrate a good example of this because even when we argued there was no single moment when we left our argument angry at each other, we always left for meals or sleep being friends, thanks to perfect control of the discussion by my father. Because my father’s questions were original and erupted from any perspective, they helped me become more creative. According to Berk, creativity is individual’s ability to produce original as well as appropriate work. Creative person is able to produce something that others are not able to produce.
Childhood arguments with my father helped me in a number of ways that encourages me to keep in mind to help my children. First, although I cannot say for sure that argument with my father helped in boosting self-confidence or increasing my cognitive capabilities, there must be positive outcomes when parents learn to discuss issues with their small children. From Berks argument that when children grow older they fix their attention to the requirements of any given task, I find that parent’s discussion with their children from tender age can be helpful. As I mentioned earlier, today, my approach to mathematical problems follows the same rules of the discussions that used to take place between my father and I.
Another thing that I learnt and liked from my father parental is self-confidence. This always indicated to me that my father is competent and I needed to be competent. My father used to be very responsive to my needs and I therefore took him as competent such that when I was faced by any simple problem whether in school or at home, I could find myself calling him. I would like be like this to my children, which I am confident I will be able to do. Today, even in my exam room, when things turn out to be hard for me, I only need to remember the face of my father and my courage is doubled. Moreover, I understand why I like initiating discussions to problems whether academic or political.
Today, my friends and acquaintances associate me with politics. May be because politicians are good at public speaking but for me I realize that the seed that my father planted in me is still very much alive and until now, I am practicing the same. Today, my father sees me and says "like father, like son." I am always proud of him because I have a lot of confidence when speaking in public and in fact, his behavior increased my self-esteem. This I would like to put into my growing children.
Barnes, M., Joseph, H., & John W. (2006). Effects of Parental Monitoring and Peer Deviance on Substance Use and Delinquency. Journal of Marriage and Family 68(4): 1084-1104.
Berk, L. E. (2010). Development through the Lifespan. Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.
Cook, G. A., Roggman, L. A., & Boyce, L. K. (2011). Fathers’ and mothers’ cognitive
stimulation in early play with toddlers: Predictors of 5th grade reading and math.
Family Science, 2 (2), 131-145
Dunst, J., Bruder, B., Trivette, M., & Hamby, W. (2006). Everyday activity
settings, natural learning environments, and early intervention practices. Journal of
Policy and Practice in Intellectual Disabilities, 3 (1), 3-10